Sunday, March 22, 2009

My Best Friend...

I married my Best Friend Six years ago on March 21. I am so grateful for all the blessing we get to share together and for the love that we hold.
I cant believe how fast time flies. Its already been six years. In the past six years together we have done so much and grown so close. Our family has grown so much. Bringing material and spiritual things to our lives. We went through death, and birth together. We have made it this far. I am so grateful for my husband and for our family. I look forward to all that is to come.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Yesterday



I took Chevy in for an ear surgery yesterday March 5, 2009. Not knowing that it was going to be his last day alive. Chevy passed away this morning March 6, 2009 at
1am. Chevy went in for the surgery. The Dr. called and told me everything went fine that he woke up and that they took care of his ears. That out of the 150 ears she has worked on his by far was the worst. That she felt confident that they were taken care of. She told me that I could pick him up tomorrow afternoon. i hung up the phone and immediately told Nate the good news. Not 20 min later the phone rang again. i saw it was the Doctor and my heart stopped. I immediately knew something was wrong. She was crying on the other line and told me that Chevy had a heart attack. That the did CPR and that he is trying to come back. They told me they didn’t know for how long and that i could come up and say good bye. For those of you that know me. Chevy, (really without lying) is my first born. I would give my right hand for Chevy. I know he is a dog and that its not normal to feel that way. But he filled my empty wholes he made me complete. He took my pain away and he helped me to smile. We immediately drove up to Salt Lake to the clinic. It was impossible for Nate to watch this or to see him so he waited in the car. Walking in there alone to see my baby lying on a surgical table was just horrible. I know that you all are going to die when you read this but I did imagine it if it were my baby girl AddiLynn. What does a mom do when her baby is so helpless? He was lying on his side he had oxygen in and all kinds of monitors on. Chevy looked like he was sleeping. (And he was) I had the opportunity to hold him for 5 hours. After making the choise to keep him on the machines for the night hoping for a miracle, after saying my good byes We went home. When we got home Nate and I said a prayer and for the first time praying for Chevy that night, I told God that if it was his time to please take him peacefully and to let him know that I was so sorry and that I love him. Almost immediately after the prayer I felt peace I knew that was what was going to happen. Laying in bed holding his pillow I awaited the phone call. Around 10-15 min before my phone rang I felt a piece of me leave my body! I felt Chevy go home. As the tears ran down my check I prayed and said, thank you. Thank you for letting me hold on to him and thank you for loving him. I know that he is happy! That Chevy will never have ear problems again. The last four years with my little guy were perfect. They were amazing and I a m so thankful for them. Life is so short and Chevy taught me to live it and to stay strong. Chevy was so strong up to his last breath. I know that it will be so hard and difficult for me on all of the today, today steps I have to take. But inside I will always know that I loved him and that he was in the best hands. I get to start life in a different way today. I get to change my schedule and I get to be strong. I want my Chevy to eat my popsicles to sit on my lap to snore in my ear and to make AddiLynn Laugh. I was looking forward for AddiLynn to be able to grow up with such an awesome big brother. I am going to make Chevy a book. If you have any memories of Chevy that you would like to add please comment. Thank you for all of your support. I really need all of your prayers and reaching out arms today I really do!!! So thank you!

Thank you!

Dear Dr. Shanchez and Staff,

Im writing this letter on behalf of Chevy Spencer and his family. We woke up Thursday March 5, 2009 as a normal day. When my alarm went off to go get ready I actually turned it off and chose to stay in bed and cuddle with Chevy for an extra 20 min instead of taking a shower. Not knowing that would be my last cuddle. Chevy would hug me with his little right paw over my neck when he didn’t want me awake. When I finally got up he rolled over and hugged his daddy while I attended to the baby and got my self ready to come up to Salt Lake City. When we told Chevy lets go buy, buy he jumped out of bed ran down the stairs. He didn’t even go out to the bathroom for very long so he can hurry in the car. Chevy loved going buy buy with me. We would go to the salon after hours and clean it or do book work and Chevy always at my side. Yesterday taught me a lot. It taught me to not take a minute for granted that anything can change in a split second. I am so grateful for the time that we had Chevy in our family. He was a true blessing to me. Chevy taught me a lot about life, and love. He taught me to forgive and to smile. Chevy has been suffering form these ear infections sense he was 6wks old. Not having the proper medical attention was so difficult. All I ever wanted was for them to be better. Watching him itch his ears tell the bled and hearing him cry was so heart breaking. When I was finally referred to your clinic I was ecstatic. Finally my baby boy could be whole again. Setting money aside each month to make it possible was my personal goal. As Chevys mom I wanted the best for him. I want him happy, I want him to play, I want him to lay on side and not have it hurt, and I want him to smell good. All of these things are what I was looking forward to. When I asked him if her wanted the surgery I got a high five and a kiss on the check. So I do think he wanted it. Yesterday morning Chevy wasn’t quite himself. I should have paid attention to signs. I am so sorry that we had to put your team through such a ruff day at work. I know that caring for animals would be a rewarding yet challenging job. And we thank you for making it possible. You have the opportunity to tough millions of life’s. And what a blessing that is. On my drive home I thought to myself if he doesn’t make it then I will know that he would be healthy in an other place. I never once have thought that. So I told myself to shut up. I even stopped the car and almost turned around to pick him up. Now I know when they say mothers have intuition. Although I have no regrets. I want to thank you for taking Chevy in your arms. I will never know how hard it was to call me with the horrible news. And I apologize for my reaction. Thank you so much for letting me hold Chevy for 5hours. I really needed that. I got to feel Chevy’s spirit. I did know the whole time it wasn’t in him that it was with me. Thank you for showing me that you really cared. I saw your emotion in your eyes I saw you hurt and your pain. I have never had a vet reach over and kiss my baby boy like I would. Thank you for comforting me thank you for making me feel safe thank you for teaching me to let go. When we got home my husband and I said a prayer and for the first time of praying for Chevy that night I told God that if it was his time to please take him peacefully and to let him know that I was so sorry and that I love him. Almost immediately after the prayer I felt piece I knew that was what was going to happen. Laying in bed holding his pillow I awaited the phone call. Around 10-15 min before my phone rang I felt a piece of me leave my body I felt Chevy go home. As the tears ran down my check I prayed and said thank you. Thank you for letting me hold on to him and thank you for loving him. I know that he is happy! That Chevy will never have ear problems again. The last four years with my little guy were perfect. They were amazing and I a m so thankful for them. Life is so short and Chevy taught me to live it and to stay strong. Chevy was so strong up to his last breath. I know that it will be so hard and difficult for me on all of the today, today steps I have to take. But inside I will always know that I loved him and that he was in the best hands. Thank you so much for your support and for helping me through this tragedy. Thank you for reaching for that miracle and giving me hope. I will always love my Chevy and he is a large part of our life’s so thank you for letting me love him for 5 more hours. Thank you!
Sincerely,

Autumn and Nate Spencer